You know, I'm gonna lay it all out on the table here. Most of us have "known" each other - including in real time- for quite some time now. Years, in fact.
So, here it is:
I'm glad to be fifty, and to have lost my looks. I have never felt more free in my entire life. I no longer think about what a man is going to think of me. I don't care.
I was very beautiful until I was about forty. I didn't understand how beautiful. I never completely understood how to use my sexuality. But I understood perfectly ("I learned the truth at seventeen...") that looks mattered. And, in all honesty, I didn't have the right personality to use it well. I was raised in a strange home, and I really wasn't taught social graces. That might have been a good thing, or not. I don't know.
Anyway, the stress of life has finally caught up with me. I'm 15 pounds overweight on a 5'2" frame. My hair is turning gray, and I'm fucked if I'm going to continue to put poison on it for society's idiotic standards. I've chopped it SHORT because I'm sick of dealing with it.
I don't wear much make-up; absolutely NO foundation. I'm wrinkled. AND I DON'T CARE! I am finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel. Even being raised by the woman who raised me, and who hadn't a clue how to instill social graces in anyone, even herself, I was fully aware that it mattered to attract a man.
What a crock. And this is absolutely no diss on the men here. I'm talking about how we are ALL socially herded to try to "hook up," and, if we don't, we are losers. Especially women. Actually, mostly women. Men are "independent," and "free spirits." Women are spinsters, old maids, etc.
And we all know what Rush has said about N.O.W. Or, as he calls them, "The NAG gang." AND LOOK AT HIM. HE IS HEINOUS! Obese, slovenly, loud, boorish, lewd, perverted, etc. etc. etc.
And, yes, I'm going tinfoil: We are, all of us, directly and indirectly, our entire lives made to feel that our one main purpose (even more than a career) is to marry. Or, for god's sake, at least LIVE with someone of hte opposite sex.
We are never told to create ourselves. Love ourselves. Figure out who we are and what we want. Or even to give to society for a period of time before we fling ourselves into a relationship.
The whole thing is WORLDWIDE. Think about that. As different as societies are (even indigenous societies) we are still herded to pair up and reproduce. Isn't that strange?
And that's why older women are useless. I wonder if minorities (especially gays) ever wonder why the largest group of their supporters tend to be white, middle-aged women? It's because WE KNOW. We are considered useless, old, ugly, pointless, without merit, etc.
Look at Demi Moore. The woman is fifty years old and she is willing to kill herself pretending to be thirty. How insane is that? And she is far, far, FAR from the only one.
Crone? GLADLY AND PROUDLY DO I WEAR THAT TITLE! I am so fucking glad to be beyond that shit that I could run out my front door and scream to the rooftops: "I"M FREE! I'M FREE! THANK THE GODS I AM FREE!"
And I didn't realize it when I was young. Didn't realize at all that I would one day be this age and be GLAD. I didn't dread it, as some do. But I didn't realize that it would be the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. I wish all women could learn this early and not waste a goodly portion of their lives and souls trying to measure up to the idiotic standards of........well, of whom....isn't that the question? Every single country on the planet....with all our different tastes and beliefs and all of that....yet we have this one very strange commonality......